A Different Mentality

A philosopher sitting near a crossroad. A pedestrian walks up to him and enquires: "Please tell me, what are the people like in that village over there?" The philosopher answers: "What are the people like in your village?" Reply: "They are helpful, honest, hospitable folks with dignity and respect." The philosopher: "I am happy to advise you you will discover that the citizens of that village over there are just like that." A little while later another man arrives and asks the same question. The philosopher inquirers as before: "What are the people like in your village?" This time the answer is different: "They are thieves, thugs, liars, hostile and have neither dignity nor respect." This time the philosopher says: "I am afraid you will discover that the inhabitants of that village over there are just the same." -                         This little anecdote reflects my attitude until I came here and got confronted with a mixture of envy, hostility, disrespect, lies, psychoterror as well as kindness, politeness, culture, dignity and respect. The majority of the children/teens here were either very young, approx. 10 years old, or born during/just after the revolution. Did this make them so angry, aggressive, unstable, seemingly without a trace of culture, respect? Quite a few houses that their family wouldn't be able to buy nowadays, were obtained by their grandparents at a low price from people leaving Tunisia (mainly French folks). Are persons from the neighbourhood trying to make us give up and sell our house at a low price? I've been asked several times: Are you going to leave? I know quite a few expats who did. They said this is no longer my country. I can't live with those ignorant people. Very sad, Expats are - though not appreciated - important for the economy. Yesterday I overheard a conversation: Why are these plants smashed (meaning mine behind a metal barrier) ? Answer: Ha Ha Ha, Alemania! The next day I discovered a couple of buckets of water had been thrown in addition onto my cactus plants, an attempt to make sure they all die/rot. Prior to that my blinds had been cut, just for fun. Flower plants have been cut or stolen before and were therefore replaced by cactus plants. These young men can do so with impunity, they are well aware of this! If you ask who did this? They either pretend youngsters whose names they don't know as they don't come from the direct neighbourhood, or small children who can not be held responsible. If policemen would take the trouble to come here and do some questioning, they would quickly get all the names of those concerned, as they are cowards. This may seem to be a trifle matter, but success (like driving us and other expats out off Tunisia) makes these guys feel strong, is that what the Revolution was for? A selfish elbow society, no respect, no empathy, unattractive for tourists? By the way, there are many complaints in Germany about this new generation of Tunisians intending to settle there, that they often show no respect and believe they can ignore the local laws and regulations. They give Tunisia a bad reputation, ignorant as they are. A German detective was asked how he would judge the co-operation with the North African police. He replied: "We like to solve problems quickly, they don't want to make any mistake and therefore work very slow. I've come to the conclusion that if you want to live here, it helps to have a thick skin and are at least a little bit deaf. And yes, you should be hopelessly optimistic.

Renovation and other Fun

The house we bought in Souse was in a bad state, being no experts we did not notice all of it straight away, yet 'Arab style', with a terrace in the middle and on top (flat roof, iron spiral staircase) had its charm. The bath tube obviously needed replacing, the free standing handbasin was nice before it had been wilfully smashed, presumable by the tenants who left with unpaid electricity and water bills. We had some difficulties finding a suitable house, people promising more than they could keep. I decided it would be easier to live among educated people - this we were told would be the case here. At the time we were not aware that the folks around this part of Town will promise you anything, they just don't care. If you fall for it, your problem! Another mistake we made, we thought it would be appreciated if we, as good neighbours, employ tradesmen from the neighbourhood. We help them and they would be reliable and try to do a good job in return. How do you find good craftsmen? On recommendation? That turned out to be our biggest mistake! The person who recommends another person takes money of him for getting him a job (which will be secretly added to your bill), whether he is any good or just hopeless, doesn't matter at all usually. Now, if you happen to employ a little Mafioso, chances are good he'll recommend more guys just like him. They'll take what they can get. If you are new here, great, wait for surcharges and all sorts of tricks! Even, straight, in the middle, if you really need such a performance, you better watch the 'craftsman' and tell him: no, that is lop-sided, too much to the left/right side, it should be in the middle, etc. The date and time you agree for the works to commence, well you can be pretty sure that nobody will turn up, no phone call and possibly no one answering the phone when you try to find out what happened! Perhaps you have even been persuaded to make an advance payment for material or because you have sympathy with the poor guy and his sad story/fairytale. If you now get worried, you need to be. Maybe you never see him again, or if you are lucky, at a much later date, following several more meaningless arrangements (rendeous-vous Arab). There is a simple reason for all this, the tradesman tries to find as many customers as possible and pretends that he is available straight away, at the desired time. Those who have given him an advance payment will be served last, where more money is yet to come is more interesting. Labour is cheap but so is the performance and if you need to get a job done three times in order to achieve a more or less acceptable result, it's not that cheap after all. - Our hot water boiler, approx. 6 months old, didn't function properly anymore. We decided to employ another expert, (not happy with the previous one) he recommended that we buy a new one and he would repair the one we got, sell it for us and then contact us. The one he fitted works okay, but he never phoned back! When we finally managed to reach him, his fairytale went like this: "It was beyond repair, some parts were not original, it exploded, but next time I'm near your place I can give you 10 Dinar (approx. 4 Euro), in the meantime, can you lend me 200 Dinar?" The cheek of it, an insult to any educated person. By the way, don't trust bills for material bought by your temporary employee. Shops often offer a rebate, or he may have used another trick so you pay too much. Honest people do exist of course, we just encountered too many of the wrong type. Very disappointing! Anyhow, with all sorts of problems, moisture in walls, ceiling, floor, plus the usual works when you renovate an old building, we employed many tradesmen, made a lot of presents, including to the kids from the neighbourhood (and I mean a lot!) and in return received stones, wilful damages to our property, either because of envy or youngsters just feeling hostile towards 'foreigners'. Such behaviour won't make them rich, but as we never see any policemen around here, for whatever reason, they can feel strong and 'on the right track'. I've come to the conclusion, if you want gratetude, love, get yourself a cat or a dog.

What we don't need

There is so much totally unnecessary noise here which makes everybody nervous and many a bit deaf. You rarely hear kids talk normal, or should I say yelling is normal in this quarter of Souse? At present we have a lot of wedding celebrations, out in the open, often with life music, loud enough for the deaf to enjoy it too. I felt sorry for those celebrating on the square where 2 garbage containers are normally standing (women from houses facing this area constantly try to keep it clean, chapeau), on the occasion pushed to one corner, still pretty close to seated guests, yet people dumping their household waste, that from the garden, etc. not only into the containers but also around it, quite a lot, like they are used to. So sad. In another area I watched a butcher dumping into a container large lumps of raw meat that he transported in a big plastic tub, just like that, looked like half a cow being disposed in an open garbage container. - Yesterday a teen said to me, out of the blue, next to my house: Get lost! I replied: this my house. He maintained the one next door belongs to his family. I know it's a lie. What is going on in the heads of these disturbed children? A little later a young man, a quiet pleasant person, without any obvious reason (is that needed around here?) suddenly got beaten and kicked by one teen, 2 others joining in, fell down onto the street, knocked out, unconscious. Screaming women appeared and some men. They poured water over him, trying to re-animate him, in vain. He was brought into hospital. The staff declared, at present we have no doctor at work, take him home. (No doctor, not even on call? In case of an emergency just hard luck?) The family insisted that he remains in hospital in view of his condition. He woke up next morning and a thrombus was discovered in his head. Now the brawler's mother is trying to persuade the victim's parents not to go to court. I know the rowdy and his pals as angry young men, full of aggression, something needs to be done before it's too late. Finding an excuse for whatever children/teens get up to doesn't mean you care for them, they need to learn the right values, respect, empathy and to control their aggressions. By the way, the kid who said "get lost" to me, doesn't even live in the direct neighbourhood. We don't understand why these hooligans are daily meeting in front of our house, frequently leaving sunflower shells on  the ground and other rubbish as their "markings". Various folks stated they wouldn't let their children play and mix with the terrible children that come here. Heaven knows why here and not in front of their houses. One boy had an explanation: the neighbours don't like it. Cheers!

Postcript Why it matters

I don't know whether some folks were always the way they are now or, if not, what made them like that. Certain behaviour I never encountered in the past, like when it comes to fetching a taxi. Though there appear to be a large number of them, not an easy task. I remember seeing in Muenster (Germany) a poster showing a bus full with passengers and a motor-vehicle column to demonstrate how many additional cars would be on the road if each person sitting in a bus would drive by car instead. On various occasions young folks (mainly) snatched the taxi we actually stopped. One woman entered the taxi we finally managed to get (after nearly one hour) and said: "Let's share it, we must help each other." Okay, sounded reasonable.  Another woman got into a taxi in which I was already sitting and insisted it's her taxi. Since she wouldn't listen to any reason and the driver appeared to be helpless, I left it to her. Today we stopped a taxi and as we were telling the driver our destination, a woman appeared on the other side of the road, swearing at the driver, advising him to kick us out and take her instead, as it was "her taxi". He was not impressed/ not amused by her! Another case of not America, not Tunisia, but "Me first"? In Great Britain where I lived for several years, you can find real gentlemen and ladies with refined manners (some folks changed following the 'Brexit', unfortunately) and I some times wonder, had Tunisia been a British colony....... Perhaps not nice of me to think like that, yet on various occasions I miss good manners and even though one is constantly asked here: how are you, I can't help but feel this politeness is just superficial, most of the time (a bit French style?). I remember Tunisian folks being very charming, beautiful broad smile, rare nowadays. The other day when I offered a woman that she'll be severed first, she looked so surprised and then thanked me with that catching gorgeous smile. Please let us have more of that, make Tunisia beautiful again. Let us show respect and consideration for each other.

Why it matters

Some uneducated folks misunderstood the new freedom after the revolution, they now feel relieved of their responsibility for their children and their acts. The state authorities interfere  less, perhaps thinking that way everybody is happy, while really many are unhappy with the new development. Getting nervous and depressed, they don't want a selfish elbow society where all do what they want, few what they should. Children and teens suggest as a running joke: "Call the police."  The constantly yelling and running kids in this part of the town are obviously disturbed, neglected, no happy home! Many children doesn't necessarily mean you love kids, not if you let them roam the streets and let the life there be their teacher. They won't learn values, respect, responsibility or any shame by the look of it. Though some actually say sorry, they hardly ever mean it. - I watched a slight accident, 2 young men on a motorbike slightly touched a boy who fell, uninjured. Out of nowhere screaming women appeared. Had the boy been hurt, they doubtlessly would have given him a real beating! Yet the boy, one of a group of kids, misused the street junction as a kind of football field, absolutely ignoring the traffic. They kick their balls anywhere at any time, several times nearly hitting people on a motorbike, cars, folks just walking. I viewed 3 balls getting flattened by passing vehicles. Near accidents are common. Parents say it was always like that, already the grandparents played here night and day. Really? Were they angry and aggressive as well? Are we talking about a time when donkey carts were the usual means of transport, very few possessed a refrigerator, mobile phones didn't exist? If you want everything like in the past (not all was bad) there won't be any progress. By the way, I've been advised, in years not so long ago, police would arrive if kids roamed the streets at night. Many here say the children are terrible (in  this part of the town, not everywhere, thank God), one man stated, perhaps the authorities will react if we have a severe accident. Early invention can prevent high costs to society. Quite a few teachers and   others with an academic education are unemployed while there is such a large need for education, sad story.

Angels are a Rare Species

A European woman, married to a Tunisian man, will find living with him here is in many ways quite different from her previous life with him in Europe. She may be a modern, independent woman, better educated, with more money than her "better half", yet Tunisian authorities still have those images in their head from the "good old days" whereby a woman  can not be trusted to walk on her own legs and therefore require a man as her guardian. Thus the Tunisian husband has to sign a paper saying he'll provide for her and be her guardian. The authorities want to make sure foreign wifes won't become beggars or expect the state to provide for them. How else could it be otherwise? I beg you pardon? This new generation of Tunisian females have (generally speaking) such a big mouth, so that such regulation can surely only apply to women with a foreign nationality, even though perhaps married to a Tunisian for "donkey's years". - You can not buy a house here unless you've been a resident for at least 5 years. If you are stinking rich there'll be different rules, as always ("All are equal, some are more equal than others" famous quote from  George Orwell, Animal Farm).You can of course take your money and get the house registered in your husband's name. I would advise against this, because if your marriage breaks up - for whatever reasons - he can keep the house and you may have to leave the country without compensation. On the other hand, once you fulfil the condition that entitles you to become a house owner (wanting to be on the save side, also in case he passes away before you, pos. problems with the family), in order to do so, you have to officially buy the house from your husband. Even if he agrees not to take money from you for buying your own property, you'll have to pay tax at the current rate in accordance with the estimated value of the house. I've been told several women lost all their money,  while the ex-husband is now a happy house owner, perhaps with a new wife taking over, while the previous one is left with the hope, maybe one day he'll get what he deserves. Encountering a lot of envy (from the uneducated), reminds me of the engraving on an one hundred year old house in Germany: "May God give to all who know us twice as much as they don't begrudge us." If you want to be popular in Tunisia, don't ever criticize any one, not a trifle bit. The folks here never make any mistakes (don't say he who doesn't work, doesn't make mistakes....). When you believe you discovered one, just watch it, it is really amazing how everything will be turned upside down and back again, so it's in the end actually your mistake! Surprising such brilliant people, why aren't they more successful with ingenious inventions?

We live and learn

I dreamt I was in the jungle with howling monkeys, when I woke up it was just the usual suspects, yelling kids from the neighbourhood. - The average age of the approx. 10 million Tunisian population is 28, in this part of Souse it must be 10 which maybe explains some problems, why should the majority show respect for those few elderly who are for unknown reasons still around? Noise, lots of it, is great fun, so is motorbike racing and why should the engine of a car be switched off,  when you are only stopping for 5-10 minutes? Equal rights mean girls can get just as angry and yell just as loud as boys. When kids beat each other, it is just their way of educating each other (when parents haven't got the time to do so, or the children are only repeating what their models do). The other day I saw 4 small kids hitting and kicking with a lot of aggression a young man twice their size. He did not defend himself, astonishing. You can see really beautiful children here, quite a contrast to their appalling manners etc., I guess marriages are frequently a choice of looks rather than character, education, intelligence, values.....Tunisians who work in Europe, e.g. Italy, France, Germany, coming here on a holiday or returning, (and several locals) are not happy with the new generation of wild and angry children, the changed attitudes, they don't want an elbow society and know Tunisia can do better. - As broom sticks that I use as a support for my plants (in front of my house behind a metal barrier) are frequently stolen, I assume at least one witch must be living in the neighbourhood, who often needs to replace the stick of the broom she uses for a ride.- Strange, police hasn't got a good reputation, even though we never see them in this part of the town. A taxi driver said he had 2 passengers who went on a 12 TND (Tunisian Dinar) trip, at their destination they pretended to fetch the money, but never returned. When he reported this fraud to the police, he was informed: "There is nothing we can do."  Okay, it's a small amount, but taxis are cheap, often only 2 TND or even less, not a quick way to make money. Now, if word spreads that up to an amount of let's say 20 TND (or more) passengers don't have to pay if they don't feel like it, it would actually mean free rides for most folks, for many journeys during the day. Result: Taxis are making a loss and disappear, less cars on the road, but the bus service is not so good that one could say taxis aren't necessary. Some times not easy to fetch one, a bit like in the jungle. This perhaps explains why some taxi drivers are real "prima-donnas", too much traffic? Not happy to drive to your destination, they'll drop you off near by, the walk will do you good! - Trump's famous words: "America first", several Tunisians have an answer to that: "Me first!" Last comer first served: "I'm in a hurry", if you queued up, you must have plenty of time and nothing better to do. A woman approx. 4 times my weight, trying to press in front of me, got a real surprise when she discovered I wouldn't let her, for educational reasons as when you are successful with your rude manners, then you have no reason to change, on the contrary it will  convince you that you are on the right track. We need less school holidays and more education, some times very basic education, plenty of jobs! Early reaction and preventive measures can save a lot of money. Make Tunisia beautiful again.

Postcript Environmental Conscience

A couple of days following the advice on the mobile phones (just about everybody posses one, including children)that water is rare and needs to be saved, I viewed several more street floodings, two approx. 50 m long. My neighbour (the one whose broken window pane landed on my terrace, drying clothes, etc. as this was due to "higher forces" never considered informing us, never mind apologising - the folks here never ever make any mistakes), well one of his sons, took his motorbike out of the garage next door and washed this and a family car on the road in front of my house, this of course included a change of oil. A  large black patch remained on the road (smell of petrol in my house) and an approx. 2 m long water patch on my concrete strip (designed to prevent cars from attempting to park inside my house) and partly even higher on the house wall. I guess I no longer need to be surprised about having moisture in that wall. My neighbour managed to keep the area in front of his house clean of course, after all, he does care for the environment, at least there. Just now water is splashing out of the neighbour's projecting pipe from the first floor. And by the way, there are a couple of shoe prints on my house wall, at a height of approx. 1,5 m. Looks like someone has been "driven up the wall". Whenever the young man next door  attempts to repair his motorbike (obviously not an expert), this doesn't just mean extreme noise but also vibration of the floor, like a slight earthquake. When you come to Africa, always expect the unexpected! The neighbour leaving a patch of water on my wall/the attached concrete strip? That was wishful thinking, it's actually oil! Pity we never see any police around here. Some need to be forced to abide by rules and regulations!

Cats and other Events

When Ramadan ends (Aid El Fitr), it is time to celebrate and children receive presents. Shops offer a larger selection of toys, including plastic pistols with little round plastic "bullets". The ideal present for stupid aggressive kids, if you like them to remain like that. The medias warned these "bullets" can cause serious eye injuries, but who cares! Instead of throwing stones the children can now shoot their plastic at each other and at cats. Two 6 months old cats of one family are wounded so far, another one is badly injured, looks like a dog bite on the left stomach side. The dog was most probably accompanied by one of the thugs from the neighbourhood. Such "success" would put that stupid grin on his face which makes me feel so helpless, like talking to the wall. When you see how cats react to approaching kids (of course not all with bad intentions), it becomes obvious, children are regarded as the enemy - due to ever so many bad experiences!  Not surprising, cats living on the street age quicker and die younger. - Yesterday an elderly lady looked very happy when she discovered Gloria (the most beautiful cat I 've ever seen) in front of my house. The lady greeted her and addressed her with another name, presumably from her previous life, as Gloria is one of my regular visitors. Another one, a white Tomcat who looks like he has seen better days, I am told lived in a house with a lady until she passed away. One day Honey was outside and I was surprised to see her there looking dirty, not her usual self. She refused to enter my house (so I could help her clean her fur). A couple of hours later she returned as the perfectly neat cat lady, my lovely companion. I was impressed.- Information from the radio, this is the time of feasts like weddings and circumcisions. Neighbours are requested to be tolerant and accept the inconvenience, etc. I would have thought it would be more appropriate to ask those who block off part of the road and love to use loudspeakers fit for a stadium, to be considerate when organising their open-air concerts/feasts (e.g. right along my house, the last time I woke up with my heart beating like mad, felt close to a cardiac infarction. It was so extreme, had someone tried to phone an ambulance, no one could have heard the message.) If you haven't experienced this, it may seem to be overstated, but yes it was hell. One can of course celebrate indoors, rooms in suitable buildings can be hired, if you are able and willing to pay for his. Viewing all those big, new, expensive cars turning up for the feasts, I wonder why here...... If it needs to be outside, aren't there appropriate areas available? Many are very understanding and tolerate, life would be so much easier, if more would be like that not only reference their own person but towards other folks as well. Let us enjoy what's positive and not use our elbows. By the way, I tested stranger's reaction by giving them a smile and you know what?  I received many smiles from total strangers!